Saul Jörmungandr

Hailing from a long line of royal bards, Saul Jörmungandr is the less-famous but certainly more-attractive twin to the famous Arnesto Jörmungandr. Well... as attractive as a literal snake-faced smooth-talker with a lisp can be to those that aren't Yuan-Ti.

He was raised to be the next great bard to the court that ruled the world of Santasala with a velvet-covered iron fist. But jealousy and betrayal struck (as it often did in his family), and his brother's less-attractive face was the last thing he saw as he was pushed through a portal that banished him seemingly forever from his homeland.

The Beastlands where he ended up took his vanity down a few more notches, since it was love at first sight for an ugly hydra who presided over part of the realm. He was chased incessantly for five years after the first eventful meeting by the hydra Queen Sassy and her minions, but was eventually able to outsmart them (not that it was hard, mind you) and arrange for an escape when a wandering band of dimensional peacekeepers came by. He stole one of their identities and convinced the Hydra and its minions the other man was him in disguise. Off the man went, screaming in terror, and through the portal went Saul to his new home, with a newfound (and somewhat ironic) phobia of snakes.

Saul's new environment has saddled him with a few new problems. One is that, while the upper management has agreed to keep him on for his quick wit and silvered tongue, they have so far refused to sink any resources into getting him back to Santasala. Second, if he doesn't get home soon, the giant multi-world-spanning serpent will awaken - that is, his namesake, the great Jörmungandr, will wake to consume all. In this case, what his brother doesn't know will kill him (which is a good thing, in Saul's book) along with everyone on his home planet (not so good). The songs of his fathers were passed to Saul, and though his brother stole the Tome of Jörmungandr before shoving him through the portal, Arnesto can't read the most important songs without the proper cipher. Saul's cipher.

The third, final, and biggest problem is that none of the ladies here find him very attractive.